Month: June 2019

Push ‘em away!

You know those little lies your mind tells you? Lies that say you’re never going to get there. Lies that say you’re not strong enough to change. Lies that speak loud to all of your insecurities and can crumble you in four small words. You. Are. Not. Enough.

Push ‘Em Away! Don’t believe them for a second because they don’t know you. They don’t know where you’ve been and how far you’ve come. And they don’t care. All they want is your fear. They feed on it and the more you hand them, the more powerful they become. I’ve given in to them. I’ve let them eat away at my confidence, and gnaw on my strengths. Until one day, someone reminded me that I didn’t have to hold on to these lies anymore. All I had to do was Push ‘Em Away!

Look at this semi tire that I’m lifting up and then slamming to the ground over and over again. It’s heavy. It’s hard work.  And it hurts. But I get a little stronger with each flip.  Now, look at those lies again.  They’re heavy.  It’s not going to be easy to pick them up and take control. And it’s going to hurt. But you’re going to get a little bit stronger with each flip.

So lift up those lies, see them for what they are, and then Push ‘Em Away!

 

Yesterday I decided to take the day off of work and not because I was sick, but because I was worn down in a lot of ways. And then in true B fashion, I immediately started feeling guilty about it all day. I kept thinking everyone else at my job is tired too, but they aren’t staying home. Everyone else at work has worked longer hours than me and they showed up. I am being an emotional woman. I am being a silly woman. They are so much better than me. They are pushing through.

But sometimes I don’t think we should just push through.

Sometimes I think we need to purposefully stop what we are doing and take a breath so that we can make sure we are going the right direction.

Yesterday I needed quiet, I needed rest, I needed my babes, and I needed time to refocus my priorities, goals, and my emotions. And I think that’s ok. And I think if someone else doesn’t think that’s ok, then it’s still ok because they don’t get to decide.

I have struggled so much with what others are going to think of my decisions. When I say so much, I mean so much it eats me alive. I lay awake at night worrying about what I could have done better or what I could have said differently. I go into every situation with hesitation because someone could think I’m making the wrong move.

And I know I’m not alone.  I know some of you are feeling this too.  So let me tell you something.  It’s ok to assess the feelings of others when making decisions. It’s really good to do that, but when the opinions of others rise above God’s voice in your ear, it becomes a sin. When you get so wrapped up in obeying the demands and meeting the emotional needs of those around you, you are acting on behalf of yourself instead of truly being a woman used by God. You are not trusting God to be God. Believe me, I know this is true because I’ve done it.  I’ve lived it and called it God’s work. But it’s not. I realize that now and want to tell you it can get better.

If we want to be women on fire for Jesus we need to stop sometimes.  We need to feel sometimes.  We need to talk sometimes.  We need to quiet down sometimes. If we want to be women leading other women to Jesus instead of to the world, we need a day off sometimes to check our maps.

I saw this shirt worn by one of my favorite speakers and servants of God, Christine Caine, and knew I needed it. I don’t always live up to these adjectives, but I want to try harder. I want to stop being so afraid of the voice God has stirred up in me because someone may not be ready to hear it. Thank you to my girl, Cassie, for making me my own version of this shirt to remind me that there is so much freedom when we give ourselves a day off to see where we are.

If I could add just one more description to this shirt, it would be Willing Woman. Let’s be women willing to do the work in our hearts. Willing to process our emotions even if it hurts, even if it inconveniences someone else, even if no one else notices, even if it means we have to make a change. I want so badly to be a Willing Woman.  Willing to give up acceptance of others, but even more willing to give up myself.

 

 

 Bold Woman     

Fierce Woman

 Funny Woman

Strong Woman

Pretty Woman

 

 

“Owning your story is the bravest thing you’ll ever do.” – Brené Brown

We spend a good part of our lives trying to hide the not so good parts of our stories. We hold in our struggles and sins,  our hurts and brokenness, and our fears and failures.  We do this because we worry about what people might think of us if they knew the truth about who we are. But when we do this we are only hurting ourselves and missing out on opportunities to speak into the lives of the people around us.

Being brave is really hard, but I have learned that it’s also incredibly freeing. The more I open up, the more freedom I pass on to others to do the same.  As I’ve let down some of my walls and shared words that I’ve been afraid to speak, I have been met with acceptance and understanding, and many of my relationships have become the strongest they’ve ever been.

Our stories matter. They’re what makes you, you and what makes me, me. We shouldn’t be afraid or ashamed of our pasts or our current situations. We should only be thankful for the testimonies that are being lived out and the opportunity we have to be restored.

I want to be the most real with you now, and I might show you a Brooke you’ve never seen. I don’t fully know what that’s going to look like, but I do know what I want it all to mean.  I hope to show you grace I’ve found in some different places and hand you the freedom to do the same. I hope to show you that letting go is so much easier than playing game after game. I hope you can take something from this that brings you closer to who you should be. And really I just want to thank you for reading and for letting me be B.