Right now I am sitting in the truck watching the sunset over a cornfield while I wait for my next wagon load of corn to haul to the elevator. This corn that I hated and wanted to get as far away from as I could, is now being dumped into my wagon so that I can carefully drive it to an elevator, that as a young girl I thought I’d never step foot in again. Isn’t life funny? Isn’t God funny in the way that he changes our hearts? Because now as I sit here in the truck, it’s right where I supposed to be.
I can hear the bugs chirping and the breeze blowing through the corn, and my heart is softened by these sounds. These sounds I longed to replace with commotion and titles and hierarchy that comes with cubicles and desks and offices and busy city streets. And now these sounds I always tuned out are playing the song of my life.
I can smell the dirt being stirred up, and I can smell the grain as they dump my wagon. The sweet earthy smell of harvest, I breathe in and wear on my skin. Smells I never took the time to appreciate have now embedded in me and I crave them with each coming year.
I can taste the dust of our farm on my lips as the combine plows on ahead and spits out the stalks. It’s an acquired taste, grit, because it can be cruddy and tough to chew, but now that I’ve tasted it, I savor it, and it fills me up.
I touch kernels of corn and let them run through my fingers. These kernels were planted with precision and careful timing. Timing that I never knew was so thought out. The ground had to be ready to accept the seed and at just the right state to make the corn grow. No, this timing was not always well received. Someone had to sacrifice this time to plan, and now as I touch these kernels and hold them in my hand I can appreciate the early mornings and long nights out in the field.
I never saw this kind of work in my future, and am reminded of my cold refusal of this entire way of life. But God saw this life for me and heaped me right into the heart of it. Now the work I denied doesn’t really seem like work at all. Now the work I thought I saw and hated, keeps showing me beauty and grace. And now I see this is who I was meant to be all along.