Hi I’m Brooke and I have control issues. I like to have control of things…actually all the things. It’s good and it’s bad, and I’m working on it. I was asked to sing a special at church this past weekend so I was trying to find a song that I hadn’t done before. The song Oceans, by Hillsong is what I decided to sing. I’ve loved this song from the first time I heard Kari Jobe perform it at a concert about 4 years ago, but never had the courage to sing it in public because it makes me feel…uncomfortable. The chorus of the song is who I so deeply long to be, but darnit, I just won’t give myself permission.
“Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior”
I want trust without borders. I want to just pick up and go wherever he calls me. I want to do things I never imagined for myself. I’m not comfortable with being comfortable anymore. But I can’t give up my control.
What is my problem? Do I really think that I can do it better? Did I forget that he is the creator of the heavens and the earth. The creator of coffee, yoga pants, Hobby Lobby, and all things good. Did I forget that he died for me, for everyone? Did I forget that he has walked on water and is just asking us to come with him?
I did forget. I forgot because I’m human, and trusting a God that I can’t bring down to meet me eye to eye is hard. Trusting a God that I can’t fit inside the walls I’ve built around me is hard. But if it was easy, everyone would be doing it right?
You see, I’ve learned that the more trust you hand over to God, the harder his requests become. He wants to take us deeper. He wants to push us to lengths we could never reach on our own so that we trust him more. But we are living in a quick fix, less work, fast results world. We don’t always want to to wait on God’s timing or put in the extra effort.
So let’s think about the places we go under our own control. They aren’t always lasting are they? They sometimes leave us wanting more, don’t they?
That’s the difference between hanging on to our controls, and handing them over to God. If we keep the control we still may do great things, but there will always be someone doing something even greater and we have to start over again. But thankfully, God is standing out on the water with his hands stretched out to each one of us, waiting for us to walk with him.
It won’t be easy. We will fall when we take our eyes off him. But when we give up that control, and all we see is Jesus, we will touch hearts. We will heal hurts. We will start fires in the souls of our friends and our enemies, and we will be walking on water.